Expressing Myself

I will be the first to admit that i have trouble expressing myself, I mean it all makes sense in my head but when it comes out of my mouth the words are slurred and misconstrued. I try to be as clear as possible... maybe I'm unclear because I'm trying to please everyone all the time. whatever, i don't know how to handle myself anymore. moving on I'm stoked to get my essay back tomorrow and see if i got any scholarships, i doubt it... but i did my best and it's cool that i have a solid start on my applications. homecoming week for me is the week that i feel depressed with myself, maybe it's because i always talk a lot of game about how i am going to participate in all the sweet spirit days and then the morning of i get self conscious and don't do anything.
Y and G was good.. i felt distracted, or something and i hate having to yell over everyone. but seriously good and I'm excited to see how the group shift and gets involved.
The rain makes me feel amazing. today after i got home from Y and G i went outside and stood under a lamp post on my street for a long time. i realized it was really cliche, but it was refreshing, and made me realize that every things going to be OK. outs