Turn Smile Shift

OK today is Wednesday the 3 and it is just another day. nothing special happened and somehow i feel like I'm in an old rerun of the same day.... it just keeps repeating and repeating. that's fine though, i switch it in to auto pilot and enjoy the sights and sounds around me. seven hours of ambient noises, in my head and no thoughts at all is starting to get to. ya key club was today and i am still in shock of my massive lack of dedication so far. i thought i would be able to commit really easily because so many of my great friends. disappointing anyway.
I'm really nervous to take in the in classes essay for hamlet tomorrow but at least i don't have to write my wenzl on it, i think i would die if i did. maybe it's above my intellect or maybe i just don't care enough to full understand.
i went to my brother rock show, they played a bunch of ballads i think maybe to fit their new name. it was good and i really enjoyed it. ever time i go to one of those shows i make me think that i really want be like all the hardcore indie kids that go to shows like that regularly. I'm so jealous and stupid will i ever be happy with who i am.