Inside Molecules

One thing that i really want to work on is my ability to type and make sense. I am going to pay close attention to each word that i write and see if that makes any difference.

Currently i am drinking water from a mug that was recently full of tea... it's got the slightest remnant of tea taste which i actually fund to be very pleasing. It's strange to me that just over a year ago I had never had tea, and now it is practically all i drink. I think this is just more evidence that shows that the idea of the self is completely fluid and ever changing. I don't think I've ever been the same person for more then a week. Kind of an abstract thought but one that I believe to be true.

I also feel it is appropriate to add some context to my last post. I think i have identified one of my own greatest fears: disappointing those i love. For the last couple of months it has been my belief that it is better for people to have no expectations of me in order to avoid the possibility of not meeting their standards. Perhaps it is this thought that has forcing me to distance and isolate myself from possible close friends. Anyway, when i posted that quote saying, "It's very hard for most of us to tolerate being Loved," what i actually meant is i have a hard time dealing with the possibility of upsetting or letting down the people i love. Sometimes i find myself think that i don't want people to be friendly to me or do me favor because i know that in the future they may expect something from me. As silly and childish as this seems it is a very common thought process for me. I hope this makes sense. I always have a really hard time expressing thoughts in the linear way, but I think that's because things are not supposed to be linear.